It has long been believed in society that a person who laughs and jokes a lot is frivolous and cannot be entrusted with anything serious. Do you want to be considered smart, responsible, promoted career ladder and were you considered? Be strict, solid, serious. But is it important to always be serious?
“Mouth to ears - at least sew on strings”, “Laughter for no reason is a sign of a fool” - these sayings seem to hint that laughter is something not quite worthy of a respected person. “Stop laughing, you are not a fool,” many in childhood heard similar words from their parents. “Do you laugh a lot? Soon you will cry!” they frightened. “You are already an adult, stop pretending to be a clown, be more serious” - such parting words are heard by children in families where they do not know how to joke.
As a result, we see a person who does not know how to joke, does not understand other people's jokes and does not know how to laugh. He is gray and boring, living with him is bleak and uncomfortable, and his life is also rather mediocre. In his company, people feel constrained and run away from him to where they can laugh, to those who are cheerful and witty. (Of course, we are not talking about the situational seriousness required by working conditions and circumstances and which is desirable and appropriate.)
“An intelligent face is not yet a sign of intelligence, gentlemen! All stupid things on Earth are done with this facial expression. Smile, gentlemen! Smile! - Baron Munchausen addressed people in the film "The Same Munchausen". Irish prose writer George Bernard Shaw said that "Seriousness is an effort little man greatness", and Oscar Wilde called it "the last refuge of mediocrity".
Serious people usually look older than their age. Especially aging serious appearance women. The unsmiling face, the furrowed brows, the firmly compressed lips, the concentrated gaze in general create a heavy asexual image, adding age even to young women. While the unconstrained sonorous laughter, smiling, cheerful friendly look make her more attractive and younger. Let's remember the same mymra Lyudmila Prokofievna - purely business woman from " office romance”, with which there was a miraculous and external, and internal transformation.
A serious person is not necessarily successful. Psychologists say that a chronically serious person has psychological problems. Behind his seriousness is a desire to hide his true feelings, his stiffness, inability to relax, fear of seeming incompetent, stupid. He seems to subconsciously follow the advice: “Do you want to appear smart? Look smart and shut up."
So, seriousness is not a sign of intelligence, serious intentions and serious plans. This is just the fear of being yourself, the fear that you will not be accepted and condemned for who you are. It's easier to be serious than to dare to be yourself.
Why you should learn to joke
We can say that it is impossible to learn to joke, you need to be born a joker. Here it is worth making an amendment - you need to be born in a family of jokers. If parents allow a child to play, fool around, be funny, laugh and joke themselves, then it is not surprising that he will have a sense of humor, the ability to notice the funny in the world around him, the ability to distinguish flat army jokes from subtle humor. If he is drilled, forbidden to fool around, shamed, equating laughter with frivolity, then already in childhood he will become a boring, correct little old man.
Thus, a sense of humor is both a special mindset and a skill that can be developed in oneself even in its complete absence.
To be able to joke means to live life joyfully, with pleasure. Someone rightly noted that if you have a sense of humor, then the holiday will always be with you. Humor lifts the mood, helps to win people over, with its help you can defuse the atmosphere and get out of a difficult situation both in everyday life and in business negotiations, setting them in a friendly format. To do serious business, you need to be able to joke, Aristotle noted.
Sharing laughter brings people together; it’s not for nothing that humor is called social glue.
Humor is also fitness for the brain. Mark Twain said that "Humor sets the mechanism of thought in motion." What techniques are used in successful jokes? Irony, contradictions, ambiguities, comparisons of the incomparable, allusions, absurdities, metaphors. According to Ned Rorem, American actor, writer and composer, "Humor is the ability to see three sides of the same coin."
How to learn to joke funny?
If a sense of humor is a skill, then it can be developed. Simultaneously develop creative thinking, imagination, resourcefulness. Many people complain that they understand jokes, but they themselves cannot joke. What do psychologists advise?
1. Get over your fear and start practicing
You can't learn to swim without jumping into the water. You can't learn to ride a bike without getting on a bike. If you want to learn how to joke, you need to start joking. And "the dog is buried right here." A person is prevented by the fear of seeming stupid, absurd. His jokes seem to him unfunny, miserable, he is afraid of being ridiculed, being humiliated. "I'd rather not say anything," he restrains himself. Psychologists call such oddities psychological cockroaches.
2. Work on removing claims to yourself
The famous writer and psychologist Alexander Sviyash believes that it is impossible to change, to accept something new without first clearing a place for it. We will be hindered by emotional clamps in the form of past fears, inferiority complexes, doubts. First you need to relax, work on forgiving yourself. Forgive yourself chronic dissatisfaction with yourself, a sense of guilt experienced for any reason: you did it badly and you didn’t do it - it’s also bad. Relax and say, “I allow myself to love myself. Let people think whatever they want about me, I don't care." The internal resistance that arises at first will disappear over time, and it will become easier to pronounce these words.
3. Upload Positive Affirmations
Now you can start filling yourself with positive: “It is easy for me to express my thoughts - I see that people are interested in them. I can look at reality with humor, every day I get better at it. I can comment on events in a funny way.”
Of course, you can not laugh at others: jokes are not a vicious mockery of other people's weaknesses. Jokes should not affect religion, nationality, gender, physical disabilities, age, etc. You can sometimes make fun of yourself, but do not forget that jokes should be delicate, kind, not offensive or degrading.
4. Start training
“Release the brakes”, tune in to the positive - and go ahead. We start with two or three jokes a day: the same way we learn to swim without making long swims on the first day. We walk down the street - notice the funny. First you can joke mentally, then - in a circle of friends. Didn't make a good joke? Everyone was surprised, didn't they understand? We do not pay attention - gradually get used to it. We do not stray, we continue to train, increasing the number of jokes per day.
Changes will definitely occur, but not immediately, because new neural connections must form in our brain.
If you think you lack a sense of humor, don't worry! to amuse friends, invent funny jokes to be witty and interesting person absolutely anyone can. The ability to joke is developing perfectly, for this you only need your desire. funny expressions, successful phrases and jokes said to the place will make you the soul of any company. It will be easier for you to solve your own affairs, and people will strive to communicate with you.
How to learn to joke - techniques for constructing jokes
There are special techniques for constructing jokes that screenwriters and humorists use. If their use allows you to make thousands of people laugh, then they will be useful to you too.
How to learn to joke
Understanding the nature of humor and knowing how to create jokes will allow you to create your own humor. Moreover, not using hackneyed jokes and expressions, but creating your own! We recommend you light exercise, which will not take more than 3 minutes and will definitely make you smile.
- Choose any 1 letter of the alphabet and make a sentence of 10 words in which all words begin with this letter.
- Do this sentence several times with other letters.
- Smile and read.
For many people, this exercise makes the brain creak. This is a good indicator - it means that some changes are taking place in you, which allows you to open a new viewing angle for long-familiar things.
Any joke must be told on time and if you can't quickly create humorous statements, use ready-made ones. Pick up jokes and quotes on the Internet and tell them when the opportunity is right. This will allow you to become the soul of the company and the main merry fellow, so do not ignore this method, it is also very good.
People with a good sense of humor are trusted more than others. They are always welcome at work, at home, in a noisy company. Jokers are easier to tolerate stress, easier to relate to problems, and practically do not have complexes. They are definitely lucky, and you? Find out right now how to learn to joke in order to be funny, not seem. After reading the article to the end, you will not be able to hold back a smile.
How to learn to joke: step by step instructions
Become sociable
Sociability is a trait without which it is difficult to be funny. Almost all heroes of box office comedies have similar qualities: talkativeness, fussiness, optimism, cheerful disposition. There are many examples - from the donkey from the cartoon "Shrek", ending with the inimitable Jim Carrey in all his cinematic incarnations.
Communication skills are needed in order to feel the mood and feelings of others, how they perceive reality and the personality of the joker himself. In no case should he be out of touch with reality, unless he deliberately chose such a style.
Develop horizons
Superficial jokes are designed for a narrow circle of people, they are unlikely to catch everyone - many are looking for meaning in words.
We live in the age of postmodernism, when everything has already been said before us and everything is “joked”. The task of the modern comedian is to learn to joke about it all. But in order to drag Othello into your story, you need to at least know who Shakespeare is.
So, if you want to master the craft of a jester, by the way, one of the oldest professions, you need to:
- Read a lot
- Replenish vocabulary
- Visit interesting places
- Chat with different people
- Diversify
Laugh at yourself
Self-irony is an effective weapon against stress and depression. Psychologists say that it is useful for everyone to learn to joke about themselves. How to do it? Forget about embarrassment - let the complexes become a joke. It's a paradox, but when we make fun of ourselves, those around us noticeably settle down, which cannot be said if we begin to praise ourselves.
How to understand a person and his sense of humor? Become him, be like him, be frank where he himself cannot due to shyness or other psychological barriers.
Memories from childhood, ridiculous situations, embarrassments or a story about own emotions. The main thing is to be sincere, honest and direct.
Train empathy
Even the funniest jokes fail. For example, when they are not appropriate. In order not to look strange, you need to learn to feel people, their disposition, state of mind. Black humor also has a place in this world, but you should be doubly careful with it. Tact and tolerance are not the most losing qualities in this case.
Gain experience
To keep yourself well and confident, you need to perform more and watch how others do it. Visiting KVN, humorous parties, watching a variety of comedy shows - everything is appropriate. Anyone who wants to learn how to learn to joke should always ask themselves the questions “What was funny / good, and what was not so good?”. Respectively strengths should be adopted, and mistakes should be avoided.
Look for funny everywhere
To learn how to joke, you need to look for the funny side of everything. About any event or situation, especially the one that happens to yourself, you should definitely find something funny. How to learn to joke in 7 days? Come up with an unusual challenge for yourself - do not radiate negativity for a week, do not be indignant, only experience positive emotions, do not feel sorry for yourself, be in constant search for a reason for a joke.
At first, not everything can work out, because it’s easy to joke when everything is fine in life, and laughing in the face of difficulties is already a real skill.
Create a collection of win-win jokes
Everyone wants jokes to be unique and original. But learning how to create your own humorous masterpieces can start with collecting funny stories, puns or jokes. The main thing is not to appropriate authorship, but to openly admit: “Once a friend told me ...”, “Such a story happened to my grandmother ...” and so on.
Be yourself
Almost all famous people had a strong charisma. Their style is recognizable, the manner is attractive, and the lyrics are always on top. But you can’t imitate famous meters - plagiarism is always easily recognizable. There is probably nothing worse than hearing something like “Yes, this joke is already 100 years old,” “So and so jokes all the time.”
You can learn to joke only by remaining a unique individuality, having own style manner, charisma.
To not give up
Everyone has a different sense of humor. This is especially noticeable when watching a comedy in a movie theater. Some already from the first frames climb under the seat with laughter, others only giggle from time to time, and still others watch the entire film with a stone face. That is, it is quite natural that one laughs at what the second seems “flat”.
How to learn to joke: practical exercises
Jokes most often come spontaneously. It is unlikely that anyone manages to predict what will be funny in a given situation. However, there are some constructors humorous remarks which can always be used on occasion. Why not master them right now? For those who want to learn how to joke appropriately and funny, we offer several exercises, each of which reveals one or another type of joke.
Looking for contrast
If we see a person resting at the workplace, we can seriously ask: “What, are you resting?”. It is unlikely that a conversation will start or the atmosphere will be discharged. “And so it is clear that I am resting, why ask,” he thinks. But if you use a radically opposite meaning, you can get quite a funny dialogue. For example: "Stop working, it's time to rest."
We connect the unconnected
Probably, everyone knows the joke “Something you want so much: either get married, or seeds.” Hearing this phrase for the first time, it is rare for a girl to hold back a smile. By analogy, you can create similar characteristics, one of which should be completely neither to the village nor to the city. And how absurd last phrase, the stronger the reaction will be. For example: “I like black laconic shoes with which you can conquer a man, effectively walk along the dance floor and, if necessary, crush a centipede.”
Playing with words
Search double meaning- one of the main tasks of a person who wants to understand how to learn to joke easily and naturally. To do this, it is worth taking a word or phrase out of context, using homonyms. For example:
– Turn the knob.
Which one, right or left?
Create the illusion of empathy
You need to pretend that the hidden motives of a person are clear, let on seriousness, and then express some nonsense. For example, “Look, you’re coming home for the second time in the last five minutes. You're probably just pretending to forget something, but in reality you just like to turn the key back and forth in the keyhole, right?
And yet, how to learn to joke so that everyone laughs? The first is to have a strong desire, the second is to listen to our advice, the third is to do the exercises daily. And there, as they say, it will wrap itself.
Everyone is attracted to people who know how to joke well, defuse the situation in a tense situation and enter into new company with a kind smile on his face. Such people are always expected, called for holidays, respected by their peers, remembered by teachers at school and bosses at work. But not everyone was lucky enough to master this subtle art from birth, so sometimes you have to ask yourself the question: how to develop a sense of humor?
From the very beginning, it must be said that it is possible to learn how to joke well, because wit, in fact, is inherent in each of us. But do not expect that only books and a few tips will help develop a sense of humor - a person will have to really work to develop a sense of humor in himself and understand what is called wit.
Wit is the ability to find bright, successful or even sarcastic expressions at the right moment and at the right time. You can even say that the main thing in a joke is its timeliness, and if you decide to joke about what you talked about ten minutes ago, then this impulse is unlikely to be appreciated. And now let's get down to business.
Humor and laughter: basic principles
The very first thing you can do to develop a sense of humor is to master the elementary principles. It's funny what everyone has known for a long time. Tell me, who does not laugh at children who distort words, change letters in places and unconsciously give out funny puns? Try to remember, perhaps, at a more conscious age, you also successfully misspoke and this caused others to burst out laughing? Remembered? So take this phrase into service and use it. For a better understanding, here is an example of a random joke:
- you can’t spoil porridge with oil - you won’t spoil Masha with a castle;
- Romina's mother - mother's Roma
These are the reservations that help you learn to develop wit in yourself. Whether a person will write them down, memorize them, or memorize them like that is everyone's business, but they must be appropriate and fit the topic of conversation.
- The next rule for those who want to make friends with a sense of humor: in a phrase familiar to everyone, drop one word and replace it with another that is close in meaning, but which will sound fresher. For example, in the aphorism “glue flippers”, replace these notorious “fins”, say, with skis or roller skates. “Glue videos together” sounds completely different and more interesting.
- Whatever books a person reads in order to improve wit, each of them will deal with stamps. This change is for everyone famous sayings and popular expressions. We have just considered a similar method, but this one is more complicated, since it is not the word that needs to be changed in it, but the whole sentence: "I'm ready to give right hand so that no one realizes that she is also a leftist.”
- You can and even should use hyperbole in your arsenal of humor. It has long been noticed - what is exaggerated is ridiculous. So a person should not be afraid to use phrases like “I have been waiting for you since the fall of 1993”, “I had such a headache that even my mother (sister, dog, neighbors) had to take a headache pill.” A similar formula with the involvement of another person can be quite useful for creating a good joke.
- There is special exercises, helping to cope with the problem of a poorly suspended tongue. For example, Associations, which involve writing down five words on paper that are associated with the one already proposed. You can’t think during the performance, only write down what comes to mind. This practice will help at the right time to “take out” a few words from the subconscious, which are easy to combine into an interesting mini-story. Similarly, Anti-Associations will help, which are performed according to the same principle and are repeated every day until the problems with the speed of fantasy disappear.
Such activities can cause certain difficulties for a beginner, puns are unlikely to jump into their heads, although this is not a reason for a person to stop. So find the right humor books for you.
For example, Yuri Tamberg's work "How to develop a sense of humor" will be a great help for beginners, as he delves into the history of the creation of the comic, tells in more detail about the qualities of a real comedian who cracks jokes like nuts.
Another book, The School of Wit, belongs to Viktor Billevich, who will teach you not only to joke, but also to stay creative personality that overcomes all obstacles life path.
How to improve your sense of humor
Not everyone is completely lacking in wit - some people just need to improve it. For such "comedians" you can also pick up a few effective rules that apply in any humorous situation.
- First of all, you should not repeat the same joke in the company. A person will not laugh at the phrase “the bun hanged himself” for the fifth time, especially considering the age of this saying. So in order to gain fans, a person should think for a minute about how fresh and interesting the joke will be for others.
- In order for wit to be of high quality and cause a sincere smile, you need to tell such jokes so that you do not have to explain incomprehensible words. Understand, grandma shouldn't be telling jokes about superheroes, the Internet, goths or emo - you can only stumble upon a puzzled look. After all, humor should be understandable, and not make you think about things that a person does not understand.
- And note that the one who jokes never warns that he will now give out a masterpiece. He just speaks necessary words, and everyone around falls with laughter. Such a result can be achieved thanks to the effect of surprise, but while you are talking about “now I’ll tell you this, you’ll swing”, people around will get tired of waiting and the moment of “good exit” will be missed. And one more thing: brevity is not only the sister of talent, but also a faithful companion for comedians, KVN-shchikov and comedians, since a drawn-out story causes only yawns and a desire to leave.
Both complete laymen and lovers in the world of puns should feed their brains with new ideas, skills, and develop their imagination. To do this, watch your favorite programs with jokes, KVN and everything that makes people smile. While watching, pay attention to the gestures, posture, facial expressions of the actor, try to come up with your own witticisms based on what you hear.
What else does a comedian need?
For a good sense of humor, it is not enough to read books and change places with words. After all, as mentioned earlier, everything is not as simple as it seems. A talented comedian is a person who knows his own worth, confidently behaves in public, clearly distinguishes between insult and wit.
- You can think of yourself as a great comedian, but in fact you don’t want to learn how to develop your own confidence, learn to go on stage without a leaflet, not to mock at people’s shortcomings, but with the help of your talent to cheer up and help you cope with difficult situation.
- Remember everything humorous programs, programs, funny situations from life and try to characterize the person who joked. What is its main feature? Do not know? And everything is quite simple: the one who jokes well with others always knows how to play a trick on himself.
This is what the whole science of humor rests on - on inner confidence, on a rod that will not allow you to collapse into a swoon when they look at you during a humorous debut. It is this quality that must be learned in order to become, if not for the whole world, then for others talented humorist.
This can be helped by special trainings that allow you to know yourself, find strengths, determine what exactly you expect from life and what goals you set for yourself. So you will kill two birds with one stone: you will learn humor and choose the path of life.
But that's not all. As mentioned above, every joke has a time and a place. If you are in the company of blondes and a thousand jokes about stupid girls are spinning in your head, you should not voice them. It may not be easy to learn to restrain yourself, but sometimes it is necessary. Okay, blonde - they'll just be offended, but if you tell a joke about stupid jocks, it's easy to find a "friend" for life and lose a couple of teeth.
Developing a sense of humor is a long but necessary process that will help you learn how to make people happy, prolong the quality of life, make an ordinary day unforgettable, and unforgettable events more vivid and joyful.
These tips, exercises, various books (including collections of jokes), close relatives and friends will help in this, which help to develop a love for good mood, and most importantly - to develop a desire, thanks to which you can acquire the desired quality and do not suffer from the question of how to develop a sense of humor.
In order to properly develop your sense of humor, you must first understand what this humor is and “what it is eaten with”.
Human most spends his time in a certain circle of people. It can be either relatives, or friends, or colleagues. The purpose of communication with different categories is different. Each of these layers has different interests and terminology. It would not be appropriate to joke with a philologist on purely medical topics, moreover, using the characteristic black humor of doctors. You simply will not be understood and may even be mistaken for a rude and callous person.
To begin with, analyze what interests your constant companions and try to develop your wit in this area.
And to make it interesting for all people, think about what jokes would be universal for both the miner and the teacher.
And also be interested not only in generally accepted ones, but also expand your knowledge about certain specific, understandable only for a specific group of people, witticisms. Then you can easily find a reason to joke with any person.
Play with words.
The simplest and easiest method to bring a smile to the face of the interlocutor is a play on words.
It is enough just to practice rearranging the letters in words so that they sound funny.You can add a share of modernity to already established sayings,
for example, "no matter how many wolves you feed, everything hangs on the Internet."
Also, the discrepancy between thoughts and words adds to the comicality.
More than one housewife had to say: “I just have to wash borscht and cook things.”
Don't be afraid to experiment with words and their meanings. Play with them like a child plays with blocks, fold, rearrange, change.
Be ironic.
Irony will help you become "sharp on the tongue".
It is best if you learn to use it first on yourself, otherwise its inept use may offend another person.
Irony appears where there is a collapse between a person's expectations and the real state of things.
Appreciate the ability to use irony. It will often help not only to become a more witty person, but also to survive difficult moments in life.
Joke at yourself.
If you don't know the person well, and you need to keep the conversation going, then make fun of yourself.
Do not be afraid to seem ridiculous, it is not at all scary to show some kind of your little failure to people and laugh at it yourself.
It will be much worse if you hide this failure in yourself and unwind it to universal proportions.
Make fun of yourself, others will laugh at such a joke with pleasure and, as a rule, will not take it seriously. So the collapse of your reputation will not.
Look for the common in the opposite and talk about it.
When you want to talk merrily, long, witty, and most importantly, about nothing, then try to find common features in vodka and man.
Carol never gave an answer to the question in the book, what is common in a crow and a table, but he gave food for many humorists and curious minds.Develop an alternative view of things in yourself, look at the familiar from a different angle, betray interesting characteristics to things.
The main thing is to be on time.
The timeliness of a joke is already 50 percent of its success.
If you miss even a few seconds, then the situation will already lose its relevance, and your wit will seem out of place.
React instantly while the situation is only at its zenith. Don't get frustrated if a good moment is missed and a good "sharp" answer pops up in your head. Remember it, this will happen again, and many more different humorous situations await you.
Also, the concept of “to joke on time” should be understood about the appropriateness of humor. You can become funny in any situation, but this does not mean that the other person is also having fun. No need to try to cheer up a person at a funeral with some "sharp" phrases. jokes on religious theme also very thin different people are perceived differently. This also applies to politics.
Collect jokes, witticisms and anecdotes.
To facilitate the process of generating new humorous phrases and remarks in your head, try to memorize funny quotes from books, movies, other people.
And also learn to get them out of your memory in time.
Watch humorous programs, read jokes, watch people around you.
