Events happen to everyone that do not fit into the framework of the usual way of life. Current problems and difficult to understand issues are unsettling. Stress undermines physical and emotional health.
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Preserving not only external, but also internal calmness helps to get out of a difficult situation with dignity, correctly assess life lessons and draw conclusions. So that experiences do not have devastating consequences, psychologists recommend using several effective techniques.
A little excitement is good
This conclusion was reached by scientists from the University of California, who are interested in the psychology of behavior. Reasons for these conclusions:
- 1. Light excitement sharpens the senses and helps to tune in to overcome obstacles. Example: after a detailed preparation for the exam, an increase in adrenaline in the blood contributes to the mobilization of mental strength, the result is a successful delivery.
- 2. Stressful situations serve as an inoculation against subsequent disappointments. The person draws conclusions and takes action to learn how to avoid a similar story in the future. So, a toothache will make you pay more attention to visits to the dentist and control your health.
- 3. Timely concern is appropriate. These include cases of injury where an urgent decision needs to be made, or the risk of losing a job, pushing for active professional development.
- 4. Sincere feelings about relationships. They become a motivating factor in shaping the methods of raising children or communicating with loved ones.
Exciting feelings work as a motive to become reasonable and reserved. But when emotions take over, it is much more difficult not to lose your temper.
How not to worry in responsible situations?
In order to remain calm and confident, it is important to find out what exactly was the cause for concern. This will help you take the right action. Common stressors:
- responsible events - for example, a meeting in a formal setting;
- a date with a loved one;
- deep regret for past blunders;
- fear for the future - family, work, health.
There are many reasons to worry. Keeping calm always and in everything is unlikely to succeed. But it is possible to learn equanimity.
For example, before a date with a girl, a young man reminds himself: the best thing is to be yourself. Skillful pretense in order to become what others want to see is not an option. After a certain time, character flaws will begin to appear, and difficulties will arise in the relationship. What to do in order not to be nervous:
- prepare well;
- come to the meeting on time or a little bit in advance;
- plan the program;
- be prepared for the unexpected.
There are cases when it is inappropriate to show complete composure. A date is one of those situations.
10 tips for those who don't want to lose their temper
Psychologists use special techniques and habitual actions. Applying them every day, a person becomes balanced and inclined to make sober decisions.
There are many ways to deal with negative stress responses. The following are simple and effective.
Fears are not what happened
Most events in the future that cause fear never happen. The imagination can draw terrible pictures of "what if ...". You can not look at everything through rose-colored glasses - life is hard and full of struggle. But do not exist in constant expectation of negativity.
To do this, apply the technique "here and now":
- 1. Straighten your back, straighten your shoulders. Inhale and exhale deeply several times, using the diaphragm - the muscular septum that separates the lungs from the abdominal cavity. Lower cost-diaphragmatic breathing will give confidence and equanimity. It is clear to feel how the air fills the lungs.
- 2. Look around you. Pay attention to the surroundings, people passing by. Feel the smells hovering in space.
- 3. Thank fate for what is already now. Many have far fewer benefits.
listen to the silence
The best time for this is early morning. Birds chirping through the open window, the noise of the city does not distract attention.
Having taken a comfortable position, spend 5-6 minutes in quiet reflection. Pay attention to the feeling of peace that arises inside. At the same time, it is good to recall a pleasant incident from the past - for example, from childhood. What feelings this event evoked, what colors were especially bright.
Having remembered these sensations, they are called up in difficult moments of life, stopping for a few seconds. The same effective technique for many was the arbitrary slowing down of movements and breathing.
Don't judge or complain
A person tends to seek support from others, this is a natural need. Before you call or text your best friend, you should ask yourself a few questions:
- Will it be an objective or personal (subjective) assessment of the situation?
- Will such words benefit friendly communication?
- How does a person feel about whom they speak negatively?
- Will the spoken words change what is happening in a positive way?
Encourage and support others
This principle is similar to the previous one. Positive emotions are multiplied when they are shared with others.
Finding a person who is especially difficult, and supporting him, providing all possible assistance - this energizes, gives strength and relieves feelings.
Take the present moment as a starting point
Many existing situations can and should be corrected. To do this, you will have to realize and take responsibility for your thoughts and actions. The tendency to blame circumstances is inherent in weak personalities. A person who is faithful in small things has a strong character.
If the situation cannot be changed, change the attitude towards it. Using emerging barriers as beacons, a strong personality does not look for an answer to the question "why?", but analyzes what such conditions can serve for.
Find what helps you relax
For one person, this is listening to music, for another - reading a book or watching a good movie. If there is not much time, a collection of short funny stories will help.
Caring for animals and plants gives a charge of positive emotions. Communicating with the natural world, going for mushrooms or fishing is what many city dwellers lack.
Control diet and daily routine
Attacks of aggression and uncontrollable anger accompany those who do not pay enough attention to their food and rest. Full healthy sleep includes several phases and lasts an average of 8 hours.
1. Try do not dramatize
Never make a big deal out of problems. Calm down, pull yourself together and soberly assess the situation. Follow the course of your thoughts. Don't let them take you in the wrong direction. Think that what happened is not at all scary, that you can solve the problem, easily get out of this situation. Get in a positive mood. This will make it much easier for you. Don't panic by any means.
2. Think before sharing a problem
So, you want to understand how to develop composure. First, break down your problem. Think it over on your own, weigh all the pros and cons. Determine exactly which way of solving the problem you consider the most successful. Do not rush to report the current situation to everyone around you.
Think it over for yourself first! Immediately telling all your friends, you will give them not quite correct, exaggerated information. You can say that you misinform them and, of course, their view of the situation will not be objective. Calm down, think for yourself and only then, if necessary, share with others.
3. Discover visualization as a way to stay calm
Each of us can learn to solve our problems without panicking. To do this, you need to understand how to develop composure. In turn, for this you need to learn to imagine the most difficult life situations as a tangled knot that can always be untangled. The more nervous you are, the tighter the knot will tighten. And as soon as you relax there will be a great chance to unravel it, which means that you can calmly solve your problem.
4. Realize that you can control your emotions
Learn to control your emotions. No need to panic, scream, throw tantrums. Learn to calm down and take control of yourself. No need to wave your arms and run from corner to corner. Just try to relax and breathe calmly. You will succeed if you will try.
5. Create a calm environment
Try to get rid of all the irritants around you. Everyone has their own. It can be noise or, conversely, silence, people around, even the closest ones, conversations around and much more. If necessary, stay with yourself, think carefully, focus and try to find a solution to the problem.
6. Pay attention to the soul
How to Stay Calm: 12 Tips for Staying Calm in a Stressful Situation Below are twelve tips on how to keep your cool and stay calm in a variety of everyday situations. 1. Try not to dramatize It is very easy to dramatize and make an elephant out of a fly. When a problem affects you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words "always" and "when". You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle it,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem in a different way. 2. Think Before You Share a Problem Don't talk, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a bit. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. By doing this, they only add fuel to the fire, and you are even more upset. 3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm Here's what helps me: I try to frame the problem as a knot. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot tightens. But when I concentrate fully, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time. It also helps if you visualize yourself acting with restraint and focus. Stop screaming and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become that calm and unflappable person that you see in your imagination. Here's another technique: Do you know any person who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place. 4. Identify factors that drive you crazy Are there any specific situations that cause you to lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day, to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy - or too quiet? Knowing your personal irritants will help you stay calm throughout the day. 5. Realize that you can control your emotions Recall times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly reorganize. Remember that you can repeat this knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind. 6. Create a calm environment with relaxation rituals If calm music comforts you, use it. If silence calms you, use it. Maybe you put on soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light scented candles. When you get home from work, take a few minutes to calm your mind before diving into family chores. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another. 7. Take care of your immediate needs Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I get irritated when my blood sugar is low. However, it is enough to eat something nutritious, and I feel (relatively) lighter. Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical tension, and this in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of a half-hour run, I do kickboxing. It helps. Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and do not dehydrate the body. Drink a large glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert. 8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit Depending on your religious passions, engage in meditation or prayer. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind. 9. Get distracted Instead of thinking about the same thing, do something interesting, exciting or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm. 10. Take a day off If I'm crazy about not taking a day off, I know for sure - I need it. If I can get over myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always return there calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas. 11. Don't Forget to Breathe When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe with their belly. It still works, both for them and for me. Diaphragm breathing helps relieve tension immediately, and it gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. This is often enough time to assess the situation and regain a sense of control. During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand goes up as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly. 12. Consider quotes that can help calm your mind Here are a few quotes that I find inspiring: “You are heaven. Everything else is just the weather." Pema Chodron "A calm, focused mind, not aimed at hurting others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." Wayne Dyer. “It is useless to rush life. If I'm living on the run, then I'm living wrong. My habit of haste will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn how to make time for everything. If I sacrifice my life for haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. It means taking time to think. Slowly you will be in time everywhere " Carlos Petrini (Carlos Petrini) - the founder of the movement "slow food". “The single most important reason to stay calm is that calm parents hear more. Restrained, receptive parents are those whose children keep talking.” Mary Pipher “Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be in harmony with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda
How do you react in stressful situations - nervous, worried? Would you like to stay calm? Learn 12 ways to stay calm in a stressful situation and apply at least a few of them in your life.
12 ways to stay calm:
1. Try not to be dramatic.
It is very easy to dramatize and make an elephant out of a fly. When a problem affects you, resist the urge to exaggerate the negative. Avoid the words "always" and "when". You may feel like Stuart Smalley, but telling yourself “I can handle it,” “It’s okay,” and “I’m stronger than this” can really help you look at the problem in a different way.
2. Think before sharing a problem.
Don't talk, blog, or tweet about your problem. Don't discuss it with your friends right away; digest it yourself first, this will give you time to calm down a bit. Sometimes, well-meaning friends are too sympathetic to you. By doing this, they only add fuel to the fire, and you are even more upset.
3. Discover metaphors and visualization as a way to stay calm.
Here's what helps me: I try to represent the problem as a node. The more I panic and pull on the ends, the tighter the knot tightens. But when I concentrate fully, I calm down and can loosen one thread at a time.
It also helps if you visualize yourself acting with restraint and focus. Stop screaming and move as slowly as possible. Speak slowly and quietly. Become that calm and unflappable person that you see in your imagination.
Here's another technique: Do you know any person who can be called unflappable? Think about what this person would do in your place.
4. Identify the factors that piss you off.
Are there certain situations that make you lose control? Identify specific factors, from the time of day, to how busy (or bored) you are, to your blood sugar levels. Do you lose your temper when it's too noisy - or too quiet? Knowing your personal irritants will help you stay calm throughout the day.
5. Realize that you can control your emotions.
Recall times when you were able to successfully remain calm in a difficult situation. Perhaps it was when you wanted to yell at your spouse or children, but then the doorbell rang, and you were able to instantly reorganize. Remember that you can repeat this knowing what irritates you and what can help you maintain peace of mind.
6. Create a calm environment with relaxation rituals.
If calm music comforts you, use it. If silence calms you, use it. Maybe you put on soothing instrumental music, dim the lights, and light scented candles.
When you get home from work, take a few minutes to calm your mind before diving into family chores. Sit in the car for a couple of minutes and take a few deep breaths. Kick off your shoes and drink a few sips of water. Such rituals are extremely calming during the transition from one activity to another.
7. Take care of your basic needs.
Make sure you get enough sleep and get enough protein, fiber, vitamins and minerals. Most often, I get irritated when my blood sugar is low. However, it is enough to eat something nutritious, and I feel (relatively) lighter.
Also try to exercise. Daily exercise helps relieve physical stress, and this in turn helps you control your feelings. If I feel the need, then instead of a half-hour run, I do kickboxing. It helps.
Avoid excessive consumption of sugar and caffeine, and do not dehydrate the body. Drink a large glass of water and see if you feel better, more calm and alert.
8. Pay attention to the soul and spirit.
Depending on your religious preferences, take up meditation or prayer. Practice yoga - or just sit quietly for a while. The ability to find peace of mind will serve you well more than once. Take a meditation class and learn techniques to help control your busy mind.
9. Get distracted.
Instead of thinking about the same things, do something interesting, exciting, or creative. Try to laugh (or laugh at yourself). Watch a comedy or read a blog that always makes you laugh. When you are animated, it is much easier to remain calm.
10. Take a day off.
If I resist like crazy not to take a day off, I know for sure - I need it. If I can get over myself and spend a whole day away from work, I always return there calmer, more confident and filled with fresh ideas.
11. Don't forget to breathe.
When my children were very young, we helped them calm down by teaching them to breathe with their belly. It still works, both for them and for me. Diaphragm breathing helps relieve tension immediately, and it gives you a couple of minutes to calm down. This is often enough time to assess the situation and regain a sense of control.
During proper belly breathing, your belly will literally rise and fall. To practice, put your hand on your stomach. Inhale through your nose and see if your hand goes up as you inhale. Hold your breath for a few counts and exhale slowly.
12. Consider quotes that can help calm your mind.
Here are a few quotes that I find inspiring:
“You are heaven. Everything else is just the weather.” Pema Chodron
"A calm, focused mind, not directed to harm others, is stronger than any physical force in the universe." Wayne Dyer.
“It is useless to rush life. If I'm living on the run, then I'm living wrong. My habit of haste will not lead to anything good. The art of living is to learn how to make time for everything. If I sacrifice my life for haste, it will become impossible. Ultimately, procrastination means taking the time to think. It means taking time to think. Slowly you will be in time everywhere. Carlos Petrini.
“Keep calm, serenity, always control yourself. Then you will understand how easy it is to be in harmony with yourself.” Paramahansa Yogananda.
People who are satisfied with everything in their lives can safely be called happy. They don't know what stress is. They simply do not experience overstrain and negative emotions to which the body reacts. A person who is constantly in a stressful state becomes angry, irritable and gets turned on, as they say, with a half turn. Sooner or later he will get tired of it. And he wonders - how to be calm in any situation and is it real? Well, everything is possible in our life. And this is no exception.
Voltage drop
Every person who is interested in how to be calm in any situation needs to remember that without minimizing emotional stress, nothing will work. First you need to start eating well and on time. And start the morning with something tasty and beloved - this will help to cheer you up. As well as a 10-minute exercise, which will also tone the body.
If at work a person is faced with a stressful factor, then he will have to learn to be distracted. You just need to think about something pleasant - about a house, a loved one, a cake, cats, anything. It is also worth getting used to daily water procedures. To the bath, shower, pool. Water calms the nerves.
And in general, if a person thinks about how to be calm in any situation, then it's time to change something in your life. Maybe she has become terribly monotonous? Then it doesn’t hurt to bring a new hobby or hobby into it. The main thing is that it gives pleasure. A joyful, satisfied person simply does not want to be annoyed.
self control
Usually, the question concerning how to be calm in any situation is asked by people who are constantly in a stressful environment. For example, at work every day the boss presses or colleagues irritate with every word. The only way out is self-control.
An effective method is breathing practice. Namely, the square technique. As soon as a person feels an attack of irritation, he will need to start breathing with the left nostril, then with the right, after which with the stomach and chest. So it turns out not only to calm the heart rate, but also to be distracted.
Or you can just hold your breath and release it after half a minute. In this way, brain activity is reduced to a minimum.
Methods of psychology
As in any situation, if nothing helps? You can try to look at what is happening from the point of view of a balanced and restrained person. If such is a close friend or relative, then half the work is done - there is already a good example. You need to think - what would he do? This usually helps. Indeed, it is better to sit down and think than to tear and throw, which usually only aggravates the condition.
By the way, many advise to make a list of so-called personal irritants. The enemy must be known by sight. And after compiling the list, you can come up with ways by which it will be really possible to cope with the irritant. The next time a person encounters a source of stress, he will confidently be able to resist it in a pre-planned method. It will be a small victory, from which the mood is guaranteed to improve.
Motivation
There are different cases that make you think about how to remain calm in any situation. More often than not, people get angry because of failures. Something doesn't work, and it pisses me off. I want to drop everything, wash my hands and hide from everyone in my shelter. But this is not the way out. Well, motivation will help.
In a situation that is already “on the verge”, it is extremely important to support yourself. Words are powerful things. It is worth convincing yourself that life gets worse before it gets better. And that even after the darkest night, dawn always comes.
In general, it will not be superfluous to read a collection of motivating quotes. The most important will stick in your memory. So, for example, Stuart McRobert, a well-known publicist and author of works on strength training, said: “You will have failures, injuries and mistakes. Depression and periods of despair. Work, study, family and life will interfere with you more than once. But your inner complex should constantly show only one direction - towards the goal. Stewart reached out to athletes and bodybuilders who wanted to win and win titles. But the whole point of this phrase is that it can be applied to any person and situation.
Physical release of energy
Surely every person who is interested in how to behave calmly in any situation has noticed changes in his body at the moment of irritation. It starts to make noise in the head, the pressure jumps so rapidly that one even feels a pulsation in the temples, there is a desire to scream or even pounce on someone with fists with the intention of tearing to shreds.
It is impossible to keep such a reserve of energy in oneself. Physical relaxation will help. You can enroll in the boxing section, where in the evening you can happily take out all the anger and aggression on the pear, representing the offender instead. Changes will be noticeable almost immediately. If the harmful boss starts pouring baseless remarks again, the person automatically remembers how he recouped yesterday on a pear, imagining the boss in her place. And he will note with pleasure to himself that today he will be able to do it again. In addition, anger in this case will make a person better! Stronger, physically developed, more beautiful. Sport is useful, after all, it is muscle relaxation, which relieves tension that accumulates in the body. The well-known phrase is ideal for this case: "Excess energy should be directed in the right direction."
Everything ends sooner or later
Many people live by this principle. And he is efficient. How to learn to be calm in any situation? It is enough to remember that this (it can be specified depending on the case) is not forever. A project with too much trouble will sooner or later be completed and closed. Someday you will be able to find a new job. It will also be possible to raise money for separate housing. Sooner or later, the boss will get tired of finding fault with trifles. In general, it should be easier.
By the way, the same can be advised to people who are worried before any important event. For example, before a public performance. True, there are other ways. To be calm in any situation, even in a very responsible one, is quite real. You just need to set a short-term goal. Go out, give a speech, present yourself in the best possible light, do everything that was rehearsed. That's it, the job is done - and was it worth the experience?
It's just that people are too afraid. Fear overshadows the mind, and it is difficult for them to calm down. If you overcome this barrier and set yourself up in the right peaceful way, then everything will work out.
A change of scenery
There is one more tip that can answer the question of how to be calm in any situation. Practices are different. And one of the most effective is to change the situation. Not only physical, but also internal. Many people make a gross mistake - they return home from work, dragging along a load of stress, worries, conflicts and problems. Being in their "fortress", they continue to think about worries. And they don't rest. We must get used to clearly separate work and everything else - vacation, home, friends, family, entertainment. Otherwise, the vicious circle will never break.
It is worth trying, and a person will soon begin to notice for himself that the thought “Well, again, how tired it all is, not a moment of peace” appears in his head less and less.
everyday situations
Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation and not be nervous when it comes to work, life in society and society as a whole. But what about ordinary, "home" cases? If a person is irritated in front of relatives and friends, breaks down on them, then this is bad. The source again lies in his external failures related to work, dissatisfaction with his personal life, lack of money. But relatives are not to blame. In order not to get annoyed with them, you need to understand this. And don't be dramatic. If a loved one found out how things were at work, he did not want to once again remind him of a bad boss, annoying colleagues and an unloved position. He just showed attention.
And it also happens - a person is simply annoyed by his interlocutor, who, as they say, goes too far. He is interested in what does not concern him, asks about too personal things, imposes his opinion, tries to convince him of something, proves the opponent wrong. In this case, the person is out of luck. But the issue can be easily resolved. It is only necessary to politely besiege the interlocutor or to transfer the conversation in another direction.
Secret in happiness
Much has been said above about how to be calm in any situation. Psychology is an interesting science. And experts in this field can advise a lot of useful things. But the most important thing that everyone should learn is that the secret of peace lies in happiness. A person who likes everything in his life is always happy and happy. He does not get annoyed over trifles, because he does not care about anything - after all, everything is fine with him. Therefore, if too much has fallen on your shoulders, and it haunts you, reminding you of yourself every second, it's time to change your life. And you don't have to be afraid to do it. After all, as the famous American writer Richard Bach said, there are no limits for us.
