Even healthy people are prone to neuroses. How to cope with neuroses and how to deal with neurotic states will be discussed in this article.
What is a neurosis?
What is neurosisNeurosis manifests itself as a painful condition in conditions of exhaustion of the nervous system. This is a personality disorder, the main expression of which is the instability of a person's mental health: frequent hysterical states and irritability.
Even emotionally stable, mentally healthy people are subject to neuroticism. This condition is characterized by increased anxiety. Excessive worries about appearance, sexual life, confidence in one's own morbidity, and even anxiety about the safety of the home, with frequent regular manifestations, are signals of the development of neuroticism. Normally, such manifestations of anxiety are adequate, since they are the result of caring for loved ones, an expression of the instinct of self-preservation and are aimed at ensuring physical and moral ...
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Part one
INSECURE. (source of anxiety and uncertainty)
The need for security is one of our three key needs. However, it must be remembered that security is, first of all, a feeling. One can imagine that a person is faced with a real threat, but feels confident and calm. True, another option is also possible: nothing threatens a person, but he experiences uncertainty and anxiety. Unfortunately, the latter happens more often; we tend to worry about imaginary dangers, and it is these worries that often turn our lives into torment. That is why it is so important that a person knows how to feel protected. Then, even under the influence of real threats, he will retain his presence of mind and be able to master the situation. If a person does not learn this feeling, then even in prosperity he will feel anxiety, restlessness and inner tension.
Chapter first
ALARM SOURCE
In my books, I have already talked about what fear is, how it differs from ...
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Do you need to perform in front of a large audience? Make a big deal? Get your dream job? All of us at least a few times in our lives have experienced a feeling of fear when the heart is about to jump out of the chest, the palms become wet, it is difficult to breathe and cramps begin in the stomach. Fear affects our body in order to protect us from danger. In everyday life, it is useful to experience a feeling of fear or insecurity in small quantities, this helps to keep the body in good shape. But an excessive sense of fear overshadows the mind, because of which we are unable to make the right decision. In addition, the constant feeling of self-doubt, anxiety, reckless fear is very detrimental to our health, causing problems in the digestive tract, headaches, depression, high blood pressure and even cardiovascular disease. Therefore, it is very important to understand the reason for your fears that prevent you from living a normal life.
Where does fear come from? For example, the most...
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How to deal with emotions when it becomes difficult to breathe. Fear, anger, irritation, indignation, injustice, resentment, a feeling of insecurity, abandonment and the only desire: to defend yourself ...
The feeling that the moment stops ... And you begin to hear and feel the beats of your pulse. This sound resounds in every cell of your body. The tension is unbearable. And it doesn't matter what exactly caused it. This noise is driving you crazy...
And of course, you will definitely meet a “well-wisher” who inadvertently says: “Calm down!” - oh, it would be better if he overslept that day or went a different way, so as not to meet you eye to eye at this moment ...
Familiar? Then you are at the right place! Today's article...
How to deal with emotions: emotional "prevention"
What is prevention? In the case of physical illnesses, these are preventive worlds that help to avoid illness at the time of an epidemic. Vaccinations, vitamins, etc.
In our...
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It seems that I have found the cause of many of my fucking and negative states. An irrational feeling of insecurity. I cannot say for sure what I need to be protected from or what exactly I am afraid of - there is no logic here. It's a deep background feeling. That is why I was so painfully attached to my mother and then painfully attached to different men, and now I am attached to the next one. I get attached to people, even if I have nothing to talk about with them, even if there is no sex, etc. - simply because for me the most important thing is just to have the carcass of another person, and this gives me some kind of sense of security.
At the same time, I am painfully dependent on the mood of those who act as a "protector". I sensitively feel the difference - now everything is cool, you can relax. Now, right now, he (she) has some kind of tension, and right away - I need to check if this is connected with me. Maybe I did something wrong. If it is connected, I get anxious, shaking, as if there is a real danger, and I have to...
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How to overcome the feeling of helplessness? How to overcome the feeling of helplessness?
The feeling of helplessness is a very unpleasant feeling. For emotional people who can cry for hours, experiencing a moment of their own helplessness can be an extremely serious shock.
The feeling of helplessness can be stronger than us, because in early childhood, we were really helpless. In those moments when fear takes possession of us, it is difficult to understand that we are already adults and are no longer as helpless as we were in childhood.
Feeling helpless is a feeling we try to avoid. Since childhood, each of us has a fear of being powerless in front of external circumstances. This fear can cause a desire to control the unwanted actions of another person so that these actions do not hurt our ego.
How do you react when you feel helpless over other people's choices?
Do you get irritated and annoy other people? Feeling angry and...
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collective security. How to deal with anxiety about the future?
With the loss of this basic feeling, the disintegration of society occurs. People lose civic activity and begin to make attempts to survive alone. But since man is a social being, none of this works. Thus, the loss of this feeling threatens the degradation and destruction of the human community...
A series of events in recent years makes us talk about a massive loss of a sense of security and safety. The war in Ukraine, terrorist attacks over the Sinai Peninsula and in Paris, the threat of terrorist attacks in Europe, the Russian Su-24 aircraft shot down by Turkey… Too often in recent times there is a threat of destruction not only of individuals, but of entire states, and even a threat to the survival of mankind. After all, the possibility of unleashing a third world war is the most ...
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A relatively stable positive emotional experience and awareness by the individual of the possibility of satisfying his basic needs and ensuring his own rights in any, even an unfavorable situation, when circumstances arise that may block or hinder their implementation. One of the most important mechanisms that provide psychological security is psychological defense - a necessary condition for the formation of an adequate sense of psychological security. Otherwise, the emergence of a sense of psychological insecurity is natural. Empirical guarantors of the phenomenon of psychological security are a sense of belonging to a group, adequate self-esteem, a realistic level of claims, a tendency to over-situational activity, adequate attribution of responsibility, the absence of increased anxiety, neuroses, fears, etc. Stable experience of one’s own psychological security is of particular importance in childhood and in...
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Is life pain? Not only, but it hurts everyone - some get by with scratches and light abrasions, others get out pretty shabby. Not everyone knows how to heal spiritual wounds, some continue to scroll the story of their unhappy life for years and decades.
My Soul Hurts…
“I can’t, my soul hurts,” the person says and tries to drown out the pain with wine, vodka, drugs or antidepressants. He is looking for an anesthetic, thanks to which his soul would become insensitive to pain, would cease to suffer from resentment, injustice, betrayal, which would help to survive the loss or relieve the guilt that torments the soul.
The German poet Heinrich Heine wrote that "Love is a toothache in the heart." But no bodily pain can be compared with the pain of a suffering soul. This is only later, when everything passes, you can repeat after Nietzsche: "That which does not kill us makes us stronger."
F. Dostoevsky wrote: “We must somehow suffer again our future happiness; buy it...
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Understand the cause of jealousy. You may find it difficult to accept the fact that you are experiencing negative feelings and emotions. Sometimes in such a situation, we tend to blame others for it. Try not to look at this negative quality with compassionate eyes. Learn to objectively assess your emotions by thinking about why you are experiencing them. Think about what emotions are associated with jealousy and what causes them. For example, if you are jealous of your significant other, think about why you feel that way. You may feel fear because you are afraid of losing your partner (perhaps you have had a sad experience in the past). In addition, you may feel sad at the thought of losing this person. You may also feel like you've been betrayed because your partner isn't giving you enough attention. Finally, you may experience feelings of inferiority, thinking that you are not worthy of love. Think of something that might heighten your senses and try to write it down on paper. For example, you can...
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2. What are the main sources of clinical information obtained during the interview?
The clinician should be attentive to what the patient is saying (i.e. the main complaint), manner of speech (how thoughts are expressed), and non-verbal signs that are expressed by "body language" (i.e., posture, gait, facial expression or movement pattern) . While listening to the patient, the dentist observes his gestures, fussy movements, profuse sweating or shortness of breath, which may reflect hidden anxiety or emotional problems.
3. What factors most often determine the patient's behavior?
1. Understanding and interpretation by the patient of the existing situation (reality or point of view on the disease).
2. Patient's past experience or life history.
3. The patient's personality and general outlook on life.
Patients usually go to the dentist for help and are relieved by sharing personal experiences with a knowledgeable professional who can help them. However, u...
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How to deal with an unhealthy appetite
An addiction to certain types of food is always indicative of some kind of imbalance in your body. Just on this topic, Dr. Doris Vertu wrote a book called "You constantly want tasty: what it means and how to deal with it." Trying to make up for the lack of some substances, your body insistently requires certain foods. For example, an excess of protein can lead to a constant craving for sweets, while a lack of magnesium causes a craving for chocolate. A balanced diet with plenty of fresh vegetables, fruits, and grains will help normalize your taste sensations, and you will feel that the craving for "delicious" food will begin to recede.
Some people find that what they crave most is something high in fat and high in calories. You probably already know a lot from the latest press reports about "fat grams" and how excess fat causes clogged arteries, heart disease, and...
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13
Question: 1. There are different interpretations of Pandava Ekadashi among the worst Vaishnavas. Some Vaishnavas say that if, for example, you break some Ekadashi, then simply by observing Pandava Ekadashi, automatically all the broken Ekadashi are counted. But other senior Vaishnavas say that this is a global speculation.… Expand>
1. There are different interpretations of the Pandava Ekadashi among the older Vaishnavas. Some Vaishnavas say that if, for example, you break some Ekadashi, then simply by observing Pandava Ekadashi, automatically all the broken Ekadashi are counted. But other senior Vaishnavas say that this is global speculation.
2. Is it necessary for devotees to keep a dry fast on Nirjala Ekadashi?
3. How to treat the night vigils on Ekadashi?
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Russian; Dobromysh, Tatarstan,...
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Do you need to perform in front of a large audience? Make a big deal? Get your dream job? We have all experienced at least a few times in our lives. feeling of fear when the heart is about to jump out of the chest, the palms become wet, it is difficult to breathe, and cramps begin in the stomach. Fear affects our body in order to protect us from danger. In everyday life, it is useful to experience a feeling of fear or insecurity in small quantities, this helps to keep the body in good shape. But an excessive sense of fear overshadows the mind, because of which we are unable to make the right decision. In addition, the constant feeling of self-doubt, anxiety, reckless fear is very detrimental to our health, causing problems in the digestive tract, headaches, depression, high blood pressure and even cardiovascular disease. Therefore, it is very important to understand the reason for your fears that prevent you from living a normal life.
Where does fear come from? For example, the most common reason fear of public speaking is dependence on the opinions of other people. We are all conceited to one degree or another and are afraid to seem ridiculous, to look worse in the eyes of another than we would like. We become timid and run from the danger of "crashing." And one of the reasons for the fear in dealing with superiors is a misunderstanding of the motives of the leader's behavior. The lack of information about the characteristics of his personality, goals and true intentions in the imagination of a person with low self-esteem is often replaced by all sorts of speculation about a bad attitude towards him or his work, thoughts about a possible dismissal.
1. First try to figure it out that makes you feel like this. Are you afraid to fail? Are you afraid that you will be rejected? Will you suddenly look stupid? When you know exactly what you are afraid of, it will be easier to determine the cause of these fears. Can your fears be logically explained or are they only related to emotional experiences?
2. Stop thinking about the problem all the time. Yes, it's good to think things through carefully, but by overthinking it, you're missing the point - the need to take concrete action to resolve the problem. Thus, you stand still. Do not get hung up on the problem, do not waste your precious time. Take action!
3.Find time for humor. Often stress can be relieved by forcing yourself to laugh. This may be easier said than done, but the next time you feel anxious or stressed, try to make a joke. If you choose to focus on positive rather than negative emotions, you will be surprised at how small and easily resolved the problem can be.
4. Find your strengths. When a person feels that he is well versed in a particular area and enjoys work, he feels confident and is not afraid of anything. As soon as the feeling of fear wants to seize you again, remember those traits of your character that make you strong and distinguish you from many other people.
5. Exercise and eat right. Everyone knows about the positive impact of sports and a healthy lifestyle on our body. In addition, your mood will improve, you will be able to relax and feel peace. You will feel fear and insecurity.
6. Set goals for yourself. Without them, it is easy to lose the meaning of life. Having a goal in front of you, you will try to achieve it, regardless of your fears. Moreover, having achieved positive results once, you will feel much stronger, and fear will gradually recede.
Understand that in most cases, fear is the result of our imagination. Your inner world is fighting with the outside world. Try to understand yourself as a person, respect your decisions, love yourself for who you are. As a result, you will see that fears will gradually disappear, and you will enjoy life to the fullest.
In preparing the article, materials of portals were used huffingtonpost.com and drcynthia.com
A relatively stable positive emotional experience and awareness by the individual of the possibility of satisfying his basic needs and ensuring his own rights in any, even an unfavorable situation, when circumstances arise that may block or hinder their implementation. One of the most important mechanisms that provide psychological security is psychological defense - a necessary condition for the formation of an adequate sense of psychological security. Otherwise, the emergence of a sense of psychological insecurity is natural. Empirical guarantors of the phenomenon of psychological security are a sense of belonging to a group, adequate self-esteem, a realistic level of claims, a tendency to over-situational activity, adequate attribution of responsibility, the absence of increased anxiety, neuroses, fears, etc. Stable experience of one’s own psychological security is of particular importance in childhood and in general, throughout the entire era of the individual's ascent to social maturity, primarily due to the fact that the absence of such a positive emotional state is completely natural at this stage of ontogenesis, dramatically exacerbates the feeling of loneliness, lack of self-confidence, gives rise to fear and unreasonable guilt.
Speaking about the problem of psychological security, it is important to remember that “Freud defined the defense mechanisms of the ego as a conscious strategy that the individual uses to protect himself from the open expression of id impulses and counter pressure from the superego. Freud believed that the ego reacts to the threat of a breakthrough of id impulses in two ways: 1) by blocking the expression of impulses in conscious behavior, or 2) by distorting them to such an extent that their original intensity is noticeably reduced or deviated to the side. All defense mechanisms have two characteristics in common: 1) they operate at an unconscious level and are therefore a means of self-deception, and 2) they distort, deny or falsify the perception of reality in order to make anxiety less threatening to the individual.
It is quite obvious that with this understanding, the protective mechanisms of the personality are in close, but inverse relationship with the socio-psychological aspects of security - the safer the external environment is perceived, the more open and natural the individual's behavior will be and, conversely, in the presence of an external threat to the Ego ( real or illusory) - protective mechanisms are activated. Moreover, it is not so much the objective characteristics of the external environment that come to the fore in terms of the parameters "security - threat", "acceptance - rejection", etc., but its subjective perception by the individual. The latter, according to a number of authoritative researchers, is primarily due to the qualitative characteristics of the child's contacts with the mother in the first year of life.
To date, most authors distinguish between primary, or primitive defenses and secondary, "mature" defenses. At the same time, “as a rule, the defenses considered as primary, immature, primitive, or defenses of the “lower order” are those that deal with the border between one’s own “I” and the outside world. Defenses that are classified as secondary, more mature, more developed, or “higher order” defenses “work” with internal boundaries - between the Ego, super-Ego and Id, or between the observing and experiencing parts of the Ego. In this regard, from the point of view of social psychology, the primary defense mechanisms are naturally of the greatest interest. These traditionally include: primitive isolation; negation; omnipotent control; primitive idealization (and devaluation); projection, introjection and projective identification; splitting of the ego; dissociation.
Primitive isolation is a psychological withdrawal from the situation by changing the state of consciousness. This is the earliest, most likely innate way to cope with difficulties: “When a baby is overexcited or upset, he simply falls asleep. ... An adult version of the same phenomenon can be observed in people who isolate themselves from social or interpersonal situations and replace the tension that comes from interactions with others with the stimulation that comes from the fantasies of their inner world. The propensity to use chemicals to change the state of consciousness can also be seen as a form of isolation. They usually say about such people "he has gone into himself" or "has his head in the clouds." In its extreme manifestations, isolation can take the form of autism. It is clear that even in "moderate doses" isolation significantly complicates the social contacts and adaptation of the individual in almost any group, not to mention the risk of chemical dependence. However, it would be clearly wrong to evaluate primitive isolation as an exclusively dysfunctional form of psychological defense. As N. McWilliams notes, “the main advantage of isolation as a defensive strategy is that, while allowing psychological escape from reality, it almost does not require its distortion. A person who relies on isolation finds comfort not in not understanding the world, but in moving away from it. Because of this, he can be extremely receptive, often to the great amazement of those who have given up on him as stupid and passive.
Denial, in contrast to isolation, on the contrary, is often associated with a significant distortion of the real picture, since it is rooted “... in children's egocentrism, when cognition is controlled by a prelogical conviction: “If I don’t admit this, then it didn’t happen”2. A classic manifestation of denial is a reaction such as “It can’t be because it can never be” in response to some unpleasant news or fact. In a social context, denial often provokes a complete inability to perceive any arguments and actions of a partner that do not fit into the pattern of interaction expected and desired by the individual. At the same time, in a number of cases, denial can play a positive role, allowing one to remain viable and purposeful under unfavorable circumstances. This is especially evident in extreme situations: “In extreme circumstances, the ability to deny the danger to life at the level of emotions can be life-saving. ... Every war leaves us with a lot of stories about people who “did not lose their heads” in terrible, deadly circumstances and as a result saved themselves and their comrades”3.
Omnipotent control originates "... in infantile and unrealistic, but at a certain stage of development, normal fantasies of omnipotence ..." These fantasies go back to the initial stage of personality development, when the infant is not yet capable of identification and perceives himself and the world as a whole. In its healthy manifestations, omnipotent control as a defense mechanism is associated with an internal locus of control and is necessary to maintain an individual's sense of competence and confidence. But the pathological need to have omnipotent control and power over the world around is extremely dangerous: “If a person organizes himself around seeking and experiencing the pleasure of feeling that he can effectively manifest and use his own omnipotence, in connection with which all ethical and practical considerations fade into the background, there is reason to consider this personality as psychopathic.... Stepping over others is the main occupation and source of pleasure for individuals whose personality is dominated by omnipotent control. They can often be found where cunning, love of excitement, danger and a willingness to subordinate all interests to the main goal - to show their influence"4.
Primitive idealization (and devaluation) originates in the conviction inherent at some point in the development of all children that "my dad is the strongest" and "my mom is the most beautiful." The flip side of this primitive belief in someone's external perfection and omnipotence, which replaces even more archaic fantasies about one's own omnipotence, is the inevitable disappointment at an older age, when with experience a “critical mass” of factors is accumulated that indicates the imperfection of parents, which can no longer be ignored. resorting to negation. From the point of view of many researchers, “normal idealization is an essential component of mature love. And the developmental tendency to de-idealize or devalue those to whom we had childhood affection seems to be a normal and important part of the separation-individuation process.
At the same time, it should be borne in mind that the object of both idealization and devaluation for narcissistic personalities can equally be individual individuals and groups. In this regard, they can have a serious negative impact on the process of group development, and also usually prove incapable of genuine cooperation and partnership in interpersonal relationships.
Projection, introjection, projective identification. According to modern concepts, “projection is a process by which the internal is mistakenly perceived as coming from the outside. In its benign and mature forms, it serves as the foundation of empathy. Since no one is able to penetrate someone else's psyche, in order to understand the subjective world of another person, we must rely on the ability to project our own experience. At the same time, the projection often leads to significant distortions in the perception of reality, thereby complicating the process of interaction and often being the true cause of destructive conflicts. Introjection - “... this is a process in which what comes from the outside is mistakenly perceived as coming from within. In its favorable forms, it leads to primitive identification with significant others. The mechanism of introjection significantly accelerates the process of social learning, and also contributes to the convergence of people in the process of interaction due to the "tuning" of partners to each other. At the same time, in its destructive manifestations, it can be the cause of victim behavior, identification with the aggressor (as is the case, for example, with the "Stockholm syndrome"), and can also significantly complicate the experience of grief.
It is clear that projection and introjection are, in fact, two sides of the same coin. Under certain conditions, they can merge, forming a mechanism of projective identification. In this case, the individual "...not only projects internal objects, but also forces the person onto whom he projects them to behave like these objects - as if he had the same introjects"4. Projective identification is of particular interest from the point of view of social psychology, since it is often the determining factor in the formation of the informal structure of a group at the first stage of its life cycle. In addition, the mechanism of projective identification underlies the socio-psychological phenomenon commonly known as "self-actualizing prophecy".
The splitting of the ego as a psychological defense mechanism is based on a "black and white" vision of the world around, originating in the preverbal period of development, when the child is not yet able to recognize the ambivalence inherent in the objects of the world around him, and perceives them as exceptionally "good" or, on the contrary as exceptionally "bad". At the same time, “in the everyday life of an adult, splitting remains a powerful and attractive means of comprehending complex experiences, especially if they are unclear or threatening”1. In its destructive forms, splitting contributes to the formation of negative political, ethnic and social stereotypes. The study of the "authoritarian personality" conducted by T. Adorno and a number of other scientists showed that the total fixation on splitting was characteristic of the most sinister characters in human history and to this day underlies both right-wing and left-wing extremism.
Dissociation is "...this is a 'normal' reaction to trauma..." along the lines of "I'm not here" or "this isn't happening to me". ... The benefits of dissociation in an unbearable situation are obvious: the dissociator is disconnected from suffering, fear, panic and certainty of impending death "... At the same time," A huge disadvantage of such protection is, of course, its tendency to automatically in fact, there is no risk to life, and more accurate adaptation to a real threat would cause much less damage to overall functioning.
Since, as already noted, secondary psychological defenses are only indirectly related to socio-psychological processes, we will not consider them in detail, confining ourselves to enumeration. These include: repression (crowding out); regression; insulation; intellectualization; rationalization; moralization; compartmentalization (separate thinking); cancellation; turning against oneself; bias; jet formation; reversion; identification; response; sexualization; sublimation.
The direct professional duty of a practical social psychologist is, in particular, to identify in the community of interest to him those people who suffer, feeling psychologically unprotected, and at the same time either influence the social environment in such a way that a particular person has no reason to feel personally and socially vulnerable, or carry out appropriate work to restore her adequate self-perception.
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